Am I for real?
OMG so real. Like, I’m almost. Too. Real.
How can you be expected to market B2B back-end software solutions when your personality keeps leaking out?
Excellent question! Let’s start by stating the simple truth: I do not know what types of content you want to produce. You could be marketing to other software companies. And/or NASA. No clue! What these websites and businesses mentioned on the job description are? They could be corporate accounting solutions or consumer-targeted products. Exactly zero subsidiary businesses or clients are listed on either the Two Barrels or Registered Agents websites. So, I’m auditioning different voices for you. Heavy on the playful social media.
In any case, I am conversant and can quickly become fluent in Business and Consulting. I worked for over a decade at what was one of the largest corporations in the world and the largest bank in history. I understand the regulatory concerns of compliance, the risk aspects of capital allocation and the paramount need for information security regarding potential deals as well as protecting customer identity.
I’ve gone a bit humor-heavy recently because the velociraptor footer image and the Yosemite Sam origin story are what you have shared. Also, there are an awful lot of cats on your reverse headshot monitors. But if you want to put me on gamification of arcane accounting processes, or educating potential customers on the advantages of your new Deal Shepherd app which keeps Legal and HR updated on every acquisition, I can do that. I can understand complex systems and simplify them. I can empathize with the pain points of accountants who are told they must use a piece of software which works but is not intuitive and simply getting it to do what you want, the very thing it was designed to do, is a chore.
Yikes, this was a bit long. Short version: I’ve worked in the corporate world and I nailed it.
This is a remote position. Have you ever worked remotely before?
True story, I worked remotely for several years, performing at a consistently high level. It started off with me having multiple workstations at multiple cubicles in multiple buildings. (This is not a joke. It may be an example of inefficiencies but it really happened. References available on request.)
The various groups I worked with quickly became accustomed to not seeing me in my Monday Only or Tuesday/Friday cubicle. My managers realized it didn’t matter where I sat on any given day, the work would get done. I suggested that in a results-oriented culture it shouldn’t matter if I visited my brother in Maine or went with Kristie’s family to Puerto Rico as long as I was delivering with the same accuracy, inventiveness and quick turnarounds they were accustomed to.
When the organization shifted to a floating workstation model they requested I work remote most of the time to conserve resources. Quite the turnaround from three cubicles in three buildings.
Can you keep a secret?
I worked on huge deals. Most of them never happened. Some of them were attempted but fell apart when a leak occurred. I was never that leak. Some of them, such as those in the Elephant Hunting category (their code name, not mine) could have cause stock prices to move simply by suggesting that they were being considered. Hypothetical deals were just as confidential as live deals being negotiated. I do not share confidential information.
You can do this, you can do that, you worked at the LARGEST BANK IN HISTORY. This is starting to sound a lot like hubris. Where’s your humility?
I’ve never been a full-time Marketing Content Writer. In fact, I’ve never been a full-time writing. Additionally, I’ve barely ever been paid anything for any of the writing I’ve done. I’m a total newbie and keen to be mentored, coached, shown the ropes and straight-up taught.
This hubris-slaying mentality you espouse has been accompanying my thoughts for several weeks now. Confidence or hubris, I ask myself. Truth or bullshit. Improving a suboptimal situation or pushing garbage. (To me, this is the essence of good marketing. You don’t want to advertise crap because you know you can sell it. You want to make something great, or somehow better, and let people know why it’s so great and how it will improve their lives,)
Anyway, in attempting to balance showcasing what I should be capable of at Two Barrels with my willingness to learn and ignorance of what kind of software you’re actually building, perhaps you have been sniffing some hubris. Because I believe that I can do this job and do it really well That’s a visceral confidence I feel. But it’s not hubris. I hope.
Your MFA isn’t in Creative Writing. Many of our writers are REAL writers and they have papers to prove it.
Well, we had to do a ton of writing in my MFA program. It’s not like we were painters or photographers (although we were encouraged to use painting or photography if it suited our project). We had to write many papers in academese. My projects often incorporated writing marketing copy. For example, my fictitious company SleepBank grows your assets while your body is cryogenically frozen. Martian Tea has prototype greenhouses with genetically modified varietals in the Southwest near nuclear test sites. These fake companies needed real writing and my imaginary coworkers weren’t doing it.
Why didn’t you make a cool animated timeline or game or something?
Wanted to focus on writing writing writing, for the practice (do it quickly! keep producing!) and because writing is the job. A choose-your-own-adventure text-based game might have been a good choice but you can’t do everything all at once and I didn’t think of it until wrapping up this little website.
Aspiring Two Barrels Marketing Content Writer. Alien-friendly! 